Getting Gifts

Getting a gift is a special event…you see a lovely package and wonder what is inside…tear open the paper and discover a gift.  Sometimes, it is exactly what you wanted. Other times, you receive something that you thought would be a gift but it isn’t right for you at all. 

With maturity, we learn that, at times, the opposite is true.  Things that at first do not appear to be gifts sometimes turn out to be the most special blessings.  For me, this was the case with the pandemic.  Of course, there are many negatives about the pandemic…we don’t need to cover those.  However, the past two years has changed me in ways that would never have come to pass without these unique circumstances.  What do I mean by that?  To start out, most of the habits, connections, and patterns I had established got disrupted. 

The beginning of the pandemic included much time at home with little opportunity to vary my activity from day to day.  I will confess to being a homebody.  However, having the boredom of every day being the same pushed me to try some new hobbies, learn some new skills, adopt some new behaviors.  I would never have added those things into my life otherwise. 

I completed my certification as a mindfulness and meditation teacher.  I learned that I enjoy writing.  I learned to value the importance of contemplative activities and stopped feeling guilty if I needed time to contemplate.  I found my voice.  I enhanced my social media experience (still a work in process).  I met a whole new group of friends when I began leading a group of women on Zoom every Friday morning.  A whole new identity began to solidify. 

Prior to the pandemic, I was headed in some of those directions.  God was calling me to those things and I was trying to listen.  However, there was much noise in the way.  I probably would have gotten there eventually…but it would have taken me MUCH longer.  In addition, I might have taken some other roads that wouldn’t have served me as well.   

 Most importantly, my experience during the most quiet days taught me how to experience a deep sense of wonder.  I learned how to appreciate the beauty of nature in a way that I have never known.  I observed the world around me in much greater detail. 

I am not sure if it is possible for me to recreate that in a life outside those circumstances.  But, at least I know that it’s there.  It is like now a see a new dimension that I didn’t know existed….and once in a while, I might need to revisit that space and step away from the noise of my life. 

However, I also learned that I don’t want to stay there all the time.  I learned how nice it is to come out into the world and reconnect with people in real life.  I learned how special our relationships really are. 

I learned that I love gathering with family and friends.  I love going to church in person.  I love having coffee with a friend.  In addition, I learned what I could let go of…the things that I really do not love.  Things that I thought I had to do but really did not matter. 

This experience of interrupting the patterns in my life was a gift…even if, at first, it didn’t look like one.  As I am piecing my new patterns together, I hope I am able to bring some of these lessons forward into my decision-making process.  And finally, I hope I have learned to be on the lookout for new unexpected gifts!